therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
