so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
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