remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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