i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Randomize