Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
id be glad to
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
