Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i will never coherently bang her
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
