could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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