Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
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