just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
