he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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