Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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