Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
