best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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