pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
