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• (206): View more from Washington

  Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus

  (1-317): View more from Indiana

  tequila?

  (317): View more from Indiana

  yep

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up

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• (912): View more from Georgia

  Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless

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• (561): View more from Florida

  I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.

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• (786): View more from Florida

  Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS

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• (360): View more from Washington

  That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....

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