YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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