eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
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Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
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I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3