Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
