Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
