He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
