You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I just googled if crying burns calories
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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