Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I need to calm my uterus...
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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