Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
