yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I think weed is turning my hair brown
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
