Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
