I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i barfeds in our rink
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
