blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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