why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
