Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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