do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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