I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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