My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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