It's a beautiful day for a hangover
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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