You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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