I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize