I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
me + whiskey = a bad person
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
