Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
