Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
