dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
