I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
