You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
