I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
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