so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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