never play flip cup with pint glasses
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
