what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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