You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
