C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
