I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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