I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize