Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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