is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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