whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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