Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
