i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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