You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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