You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
