just tell him i said nine months
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
