Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
